Body Toolkit: Learning to Love Your Shape

31 Dec

On a recent plunge into the depths of my closet, I started to get very frustrated as it seems that nothing fits quite right and my first instinct is to naturally snark on myself and my body. Its very easy to fall into the trap of prodding and poking at extra weight on my frame and get super upset and hateful of myself. Instead, I try to pull myself up out of that hole and embrace my added curves. This kind of positive body image is something that everyone struggles with in some form or another.

I know that talking about body issues on a lingerie blog could seem counter-intuitive. Here I am featuring garments that are often associated with sex and sexuality, and that connotation of lingerie can be somewhat anti-feminist, and creates confusion around healthy body image. Sexual weapon or body-shaping tool, lingerie is so often used to shame women into thinking they are too fat, or too skinny, that their boobs are too small/too big, that their curves are not acceptable, etc. Its all awful and to an extent, unavoidable.

In her post Non-Sexual Nudity-A Tool For Body Love Rabbit Write has provided an interesting tale of her experience in developing body-positive attitudes and putting a stop to negative self-attack. Her writing carries a hopeful and honest message, and doesn’t avoid talking about the myriad of ways that we lash out at ourselves when our bodies do not look or feel the way we idealistically want them to be.

My goal is NOT to put emphasis on fitting your body into an image of sexuality, but of coming to a place of happiness with your body type. Finding garments that help emphasize what you love about your body, and becoming more comfortable with what you might not love is a great way to develop body-love! Fashion and undergarments don’t need to be a tool of the over-sexed masses; they can be means of self-expression, comfort, and joy.

In my own life, I carry a philosophy of being good to myself. I’m not going to lie and say I NEVER call myself fat or become displeased with the winter-weight gain. But I will say that I don’t get too hard on myself, and I always try to find a way to fall back in love with my body. For instance, at the moment I’m having some hormonal issues that make me feel crazy, my skin looks bad, and my stomach is rounder and fuller. This isn’t PMS stuff but just generally whacked-out hormones. Until I can get that under control, I carry extra weight. Rather than get super upset and hateful towards myself, I’d rather just accept it and move on. Drink more water, walk around more, and enjoy the fact that I am curvy. Truthfully, I enjoy the way my ass looks right now! Especially in frilly little knickers. I’m happy being plump!

Another reason that I spend so much time at home in silk dressing gowns and robes is because I love the way my body looks and feels, and that has nothing to do with trying to appeal to someone else. I admit, sometimes the lingerie I’m wearing makes me feel sexy and confident, but its more about comfort than anything else. While I am in a committed relationship and do strive to be sexually fulfilling (and fulfilled), embracing my body and learning to love every bit of myself has been a turning point in my personal evolution. Bonus points: because I am so comfortable and happy with my body, this confidence bubbles up to the surface and allows me to enjoy the attentions of my fiance because he knows I love my body, and he loves my body, and its a win-win kind of freedom.

So love yourself and your body, as much as you can! Self-love will do you good!
xoxo
Mlle. Remi

P.S. Gala Darling has written extensively on the issues of “radical self love” & positive body image. She is very eloquent and passionate about the subject. If you haven’t read her articles on this topic, do give it a shot. Very inspiring!

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